I was unable to post on June 5th because I was very ill and overwhelmed by both good and bad news. My brother-in-law died earlier this month and my sister, whom I've been estranged from for over three years, told a family friend about her husband's death and I was devastated.
He was a very nice man. The last words he said to me directly were on Christmas of 2009. He said that he knew he was going to die and that he wanted my sister and I to continue to be close. Well, that actually didn't end up happening and it makes me feel very guilty. It also set off my PTSD and panic attacks... then I was crying and blubbering for hours, thus, the migraine attacks began. It's like dominoes or a carousel ride....
Speaking of rides, vertigo really has taken over for me lately during the aura phase of my migraines, and this is unusual for me. Insomnia has been rampant as well and I think that last week I went for three days without sleeping. Maybe that triggered the strange green streaky aura and spinning room? Not sure, but I was finally able to fall into blissful sleep after I found out some GOOD news.
Yesterday I was told that I was awarded SSI! I am still in shock, so I'll just post the link regarding the differences between SSD and SSI, which still confuse me and many of you may want to read about: http://ssa-custhelp.ssa.gov/
So, my emotions are all over the place and I am not quite sure HOW I feel at this moment. I wish things were different between my sister and I, but if we cannot get along and she tries to hurt me constantly, our relationship is toxic to my psychological and physical health and things are better off this way. I wish her no ill will, but I have to put my health and MY life first.
Hopefully I'll start to feel more like me as the weeks progress....... gotta move on to Day 6..... and the carousel spins..........................
June 2013, Migraine and Headache Awareness Month, is dedicated to Unmasking the Mystery of Chronic Headache Disorders. The 2013 Migraine and Headache Awareness Month Blog Challenge is a project of FightingHeadacheDisorders.com.
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