Pretty Woman #7, Little Shop of Horrors #8

Pretty Woman #7

Addressing this question is funny because I enjoy using makeup, doing my hair, my nails, and generally looking good even when I feel like crap.  On those migriane days when I am so ill I cannot function though, honestly, I don't really bother.  If I am so sick I don't even want to get out of bed and the thought of sunlight makes me cringe like I am Lestat in the Vampire Chronicles, why try?  

Thank goodness there are not THAT many moments when this happens.  However, even if I am forced to go out, I make sure I have my sunglasses and my hooded shirt with me to prevent the photophobia from making my migraine even worse.  If I make myself, I wear makeup and bring my Relpax with me.  The fear is what keeps me inside though, so if I have to "give in" to it, I try to sleep, take a hot bath and use an ice pack on my head.  Eating mints and using lavender scented  lotions or a light lavender spray helps too if the postdrome phase is making me feel like I have a hangover. 

I have recently started beading when I cannot stand the sight of the computer screen too.  I've made a new page called "Awareness Jewelry by Seizonsha" on Facebook for those times I cannot do my masters college work or write to other migraine and chronic pain suffers on Facebook.  Here is the website: https://www.facebook.com/AwarenessJewelryBySeizonsha  Please visit my page and see the items I create.  I make these-for donations and I do not make any profit from making and shipping these items. Your donations simply spread awareness. I make customized items too. Please have a look at the items and message me and I can give you an estimate ♥

Little Shop of Horrors #8

I love eating anything mint when I have a migraine that does not cause aura or nausea.  Around Christmas time, I collect candy canes and eat them every chance I get.  When it is not holiday time, I keep Altoids (peppermint and spearmint) and mint Life Savers with me everywhere I go.  Nausea is a huge problem for me, so I tend to keep my generic Zofran with me whenever possible.  If I can manage to eat, it's usually crackers or cereal or possible light tasting fish or chicken.  I can never have anything heavy when I have a migraine.

But, if there is anything that is really BAD for me as a migraineur, but that I seek as comfort food, it is ice cream. I love it.  So, there it is.  I admit it.  I am an ice cream addict :)

June 2013, Migraine and Headache Awareness Month, is dedicated to Unmasking the Mystery of Chronic Headache Disorders. The 2013 Migraine and Headache Awareness Month Blog Challenge is a project of FightingHeadacheDisorders.com.

Premonition: Where I'd Like to See Treatment Options for Chronic Migraine in the Future - We Can Share Our Knowledge

First off, if you are a migraineur, you know that there is no cure.  This being said, I'd like to see a cure!  A real one - not some shoddy attempt to sell vitamins masked in a bottle that says "miracle cure for migraines".  I hate when companies act like their product can just wash all of your pain away by popping a pill.  Such bull.

If there is no miraculous migraine cure, then I would at the very least like to hear more about migraine drugs specifically geared towards treating all phases of migraine and the distinct variants that exist.  More information regarding the possible link between aura and stroke in women with migraines, and a definite confirmation that white matter hyperintensities in the brain caused by migraine do NOT cause long term cognitive decline in the brain.  I always hear "this research suggests" and hypothesis tested on only a small amount of people.  Maybe something longitudinal with thousands of participants.

But who am I kidding?  All of this costs money, and many more people need to sign petitions to the government indicating how desperate we are for more information.  We, as sufferers, need to do anything we can to make our condition more visible, in order to reduce the stigma of migraine.  Many people think migraine is a headache, and it clearly is not.  If we start from there, with us, by simply sharing this information, we are already heading in the right direction.

Do all you can to educate those you interact with regarding all forms of migraine.  We can do it if we do it together.

Gueneviere

June 2013, Migraine and Headache Awareness Month, is dedicated to Unmasking the Mystery of Chronic Headache Disorders. The 2013 Migraine and Headache Awareness Month Blog Challenge is a project of FightingHeadacheDisorders.com.

Carousel: You'll Never Walk Alone!

Ahh, the merry go 'round of chronic illness....

I was unable to post on June 5th because I was very ill and overwhelmed by both good and bad news.  My brother-in-law died earlier this month and my sister, whom I've been estranged from for over three years, told a family friend about her husband's death and I was devastated.

He was a very nice man.  The last words he said to me directly were on Christmas of 2009.  He said that he knew he was going to die and that he wanted my sister and I to continue to be close.  Well, that actually didn't end up happening and it makes me feel very guilty.  It also set off my PTSD and panic attacks... then I was crying and blubbering for hours, thus, the migraine attacks began.  It's like dominoes or a carousel ride....

Speaking of rides, vertigo really has taken over for me lately during the aura phase of my migraines, and this is unusual for me.  Insomnia has been rampant as well and I think that last week I went for three days without sleeping.  Maybe that triggered the strange green streaky aura and spinning room?  Not sure, but I was finally able to fall into blissful sleep after I found out some GOOD news.

Yesterday I was told that I was awarded SSI! I am still in shock, so I'll just post the link regarding the differences between SSD and SSI, which still confuse me and many of you may want to read about: http://ssa-custhelp.ssa.gov/app/answers/detail/a_id/245/~/difference-between-social-security-disability-and-ssi-disability

So, my emotions are all over the place and I am not quite sure HOW I feel at this moment.  I wish things were different between my sister and I, but if we cannot get along and she tries to hurt me constantly, our relationship is toxic to my psychological and physical health and things are better off this way.  I wish her no ill will, but I have to put my health and MY life first.

Hopefully I'll start to feel more like me as the weeks progress....... gotta move on to Day 6..... and the carousel spins..........................

June 2013, Migraine and Headache Awareness Month, is dedicated to Unmasking the Mystery of Chronic Headache Disorders. The 2013 Migraine and Headache Awareness Month Blog Challenge is a project of FightingHeadacheDisorders.com.

Finding Nemo: "I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself.", Blogger Challenge #4

I am sure I am not the first person to say this, but today's question is difficult.  " How do you keep going in life when Migraine or another headache disorder deals you a difficult setback?"  I guess that depends on what you mean by "keep going"!

I often just fall flat and give in to depression, my migraines, and/or my panic attacks and chronic anxiety... even the PTSD.  It's about what I say to myself to pull myself out of the rut that makes a difference.  I admit that more often than not, despite medications, I am unable to function or even feel because I want to be psychologically and emotionally numb.  Sadly, not only does life and a swift reality check of conscience usually get me moving again, but so does the pain.

Since we're talking about movies, although this topic is about Nemo and how he found himself... If you've seen the movie G.I. Jane, you can recall one of the quotes from the movie that can easily apply to anyone suffering from chronic pain, psychological comorbid disorders, or all variants of migraines, etc.  It is in regards to self-pity or self-loathing.  Here it is:

I never saw a wild thing

sorry for itself.

A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough

without ever having felt sorry for itself. ~By D.H. Lawrence 

I often compare myself to a wild thing for this reason.  I aspire to continue fighting until the bitter end, no matter what that may be.  I hate giving up, and I guess that's because I've made it through so many things before I was afflicted with multiple disabilities... I don't know.  However, I know that, first and foremost, we are all human.  We are in essence, animals with free-will, intelligence, conscience, and the ability to make good or bad choices that can either be beneficial to us or detrimental to us in all fashions.

My own advice to me, which some people may feel is primitive or archaic, is to allow the animal side in you to believe in the fight!  You are a beautiful, magnificent creature, capable of helping yourself, your friends and family, and others if you will it!  Even the slightest gesture can go beyond words.  Materialistic things only go so far, but gifts from the heart last a lifetime. If you don't have it in you to help others, at the very least, be good to yourself.  You deserve self love as much as any other animal or man (or woman) out there.

Sending spiritual healing and empowerment to you, dear readers.

Warmest Wishes,

Gueneviere (Seizonsha) 

June 2013, Migraine and Headache Awareness Month, is dedicated to Unmasking the Mystery of Chronic Headache Disorders. The 2013 Migraine and Headache Awareness Month Blog Challenge is a project of FightingHeadacheDisorders.com.

Image via Google

The Hunger Games: Migraineur Eating Habits and Me Migraine Awareness Month #3

What healthy eating habits have I adopted since becoming a migraineur?  I think there are several, although I do not always apply them!

Here's my own "DO NOT" eat list:

1.)  Anything with tyramine in it.  According to WebMD, These are:

•    Aged cheeses
•   Smoked fish
•    Cured meats
•     Some types of beer
•     Also, foods high in protein may contain more tyramine if:
•      They have been stored for a long time
•      They have not been kept cold enough
•       Here are examples of especially tyramine-rich foods:
•        Aged chicken liver
•        Aged cheese
•       Beer on tap
•        Meats that have been fermented or air-dried, such as summer sausage
•       Red wine
•       Sauerkraut
•       Soy sauce

Other foods that may contain tyramine include:

• Sauces containing fish or shrimp
•  Miso soup
•  Yeast extract

How to Check if Tyramine May Be Triggering Your Migraine

Keeping a "headache diary" for several months can help you and your doctor determine whether tyramine or some other trigger may be linked to your migraines. Take note of the time and date that a migraine begins. Then answer these questions:

How exactly does the migraine feel?

If you're a woman, where does the migraine episode fall in your menstrual cycle?

What have you eaten recently?

Have you been exposed to other common headache triggers, such as a change in altitude, change in temperature, strong smells, bright lights, loud noises, changes in sleep habits, or unusual stress?

http://www.webmd.com/migraines-headaches/guide/tyramine-and-migraines

2.)  Anything with nitrates in it.  According to Rediff.com , These are:

Hot dogs and other cured meats like bacon, ham and salami contain nitrates.

Beets, lettuce, celery, spinach, broccoli, cauliflower and potatoes contribute the largest portion of nitrate to our daily diet.

Nitrites are formed by the reduction of nitrates and are responsible for headaches, and flushing of the face and neck.

Nitrites can cause low oxygen levels in the blood, which imparts a slate grey colour to the skin.

3.)  Anything with aspartame in it.  According to Rediff.com , These are artificial sweeteners :

• ·        Sugar Free
• ·        Diet Coke,
• ·        Equal
• ·        Splenda 
• ·        Fructose
• ·        Sucralose 

4.)  Anything with chocolate in it.  According to Rediff.com , These are:

"Phenylethylamine, theobromine and caffeine are chemical triggers present in chocolate. They may cause a headache by altering the cerebral blood flow." http://www.rediff.com/getahead/2005/apr/11mig.htm

5.)  Ice cream headache

Such a pain is generally located above the forehead or behind the eyes. It may be caused due to a reflex constriction of blood vessels around the head, resulting in a headache.

6.) Food allergy and migraine

Various foods, like cow's milk, eggs and wheat cereal, in addition to amine-rich chocolate, orange and cheese may provoke headache in people susceptible to migraines.

7.) Monosodium glutamate or the Chinese Restaurant Syndrome

Also known as MSG, this has been linked to the frequent use of MSG in some Asian foods.

There are reports of flushing, tingling, dizziness and headache. It is also generally found in frozen foods, canned soups, salad dressings, processed meats, sauces and snack foods.

8.) Hunger and hypoglycemic headaches

Fasting and consequent low blood sugar levels may trigger headaches in patients with migraine.

Avoid consuming anything high or rich in carbohydrates. Else, it could result in a rapid secretion of insulin, thus lowering blood sugar levels.

http://www.rediff.com/getahead/2005/apr/11mig.htm

These are the majority of the triggers I avoid before I decide to eat.   I also TRY to sleep when the insomnia does not control my sleep.  I have a fear of sleep... I call it painsomnia, but I am sure there is another name for it.  I try to exercise when I can (although it is a trigger for me, but my medications make me gain weight frequently, so I have to have a Relpax right when I get off of the elliptical or the punching bag when I am well enough to at least go to the gym and do some cardio). The upside of the exercise is that it tires me out. 

I do eat Chinese food, pizza, drink once in a while, and go out in the sunlight.  However, I do this sparingly.  There is nothing worse than aggravating a migraine just because you are trying to have fun.  Foolish!  But you live and learn.

On that note, I AM TIRED OUT!  Hope everyone is sleeping well, eating right, and considering writing a headache diary if they do not know what their own personal food, environment, and circumstantial triggers are.  Be well!  Thanks for reading ♥

With Warm Regards and Love,

Gueneviere (Seizonsha)

June 2013, Migraine and Headache Awareness Month, is dedicated to Unmasking the Mystery of Chronic Headache Disorders. The 2013 Migraine and Headache Awareness Month Blog Challenge is a project of FightingHeadacheDisorders.com.

"That Which Does Not Kill Us Makes Us Stronger": Blog Challenge Day #2

I have many people in my life that go above the call of duty, so it would be too complex to mention every one of them.  Instead, I chose the theme Steel Magnolias for today's post.  A song always comes to mind when I hear the phrase "What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger".  It is by Kelly Clarkson here:

Although I used to get tired of people telling me this, there is a sense of truth and inspiration to the words.  The way I apply this song and this phrase to my life living with chronic migraines is that I think of how much more I cherish things when I am able to do them, the people I see when I can visit them, and the value of a healthy life when I feel "normal" without chronic migraines (maybe 5 days out of an entire month).

Even at my lowest point, I reach within my soul and tell myself that the more I survive and live through my pain, the stronger and more empowered I become as a chronic pain survivor and as a chronic migraine sufferer in general.  Through all the pain, the psychological distress, the agony of disability, and the feeling of utter loneliness from depression, I know that there is a purpose in my life - to be a better me despite my hardships.  I owe it to myself and those that I care about.

Some people have no idea how low and disparaging a chronic migraineur can feel.  However, despite our thoughts of "wishing we would disappear" or die and not feel the pain, rational thinking can surface as long as we embrace our pain and fight through it rather than succumb to it.  Suffering from chronic pain does not mean your life has to end.  Some say it is the only way out, and I do not agree, although I have felt this way myself in the midst of a horrific pain phase during a wicked migraine.

Here is a link to the suicide hotline.  http://suicidehotlines.com/national.html

If you ever feel like ending your life due to your pain, please tell a medical professional, call this line, and/or reach out to those that support you - because it is not worth losing your life over the pain.  WHat doesn't kill us does make us stronger, so keep the faith and reach out to those that are there for you - even if they are only on the internet as acquaintances.  You are not alone.... here are some links for basic support from others just like you.... but make sure to contact a professional if you indeed are suicidal.  


SURVIVING CHRONIC PAIN
https://www.facebook.com/SurvivingChronicPain

MIGRAINEUR MISFITS
https://www.facebook.com/MigraineurMisfits

SOMEBODYHEALME.COM
http://somebodyhealme.dianalee.net/

THE MIGRAINE RESEARCH FOUNDATION
https://www.facebook.com/groups/13854170626/?fref=ts

MIGRAINEDOTCOM
http://migraine.com/
http://migraine.com/?s=SUICIDE&submit=s

THE MANY FACES OF MIGRAINE
https://www.facebook.com/groups/endmigraines/?fref=ts

THE MIGRAINE ACTION COALITION
https://www.facebook.com/MigraineActionCoalition

ARTISTS AGAINST MIGRAINES
https://www.facebook.com/ArtistsAgainstMigraines

LIVING WITH CHRONIC MIGRAINES
http://livingwithchronicmigraines.tumblr.com/

FIGHTING HEADACHE DISORDERS
http://www.fightingheadachedisorders.com/

THE AMERICAN HEADACHE & MIGRAINE ASSOCIATION
http://ahma.memberclicks.net/

We are strong when we support one another.  Please reach out when you need us.

Love, Gueneviere (Seizonsha) 

June 2013, Migraine and Headache Awareness Month, is dedicated to Unmasking the Mystery of Chronic Headache Disorders. The 2013 Migraine and Headache Awareness Month Blog Challenge is a project of FightingHeadacheDisorders.com.

* More organizations and support groups will be added here periodically.  There's always someone there to talk to! HUGS ♥

The mask of Strength: Migraine Awareness Month #1

Hi, Migraineurs!  I have never done a blog challenge before, but I've decided to do it for the first time  so it should be interesting.  

Although I am the volunteer founder of the public page Migraineur Misfits as well as a secret support group and volunteer for the Surviving Chronic Pain public page, it is often very hard to get through each day without having a migraine or suffering from other afflictions or comorbid disorders.  I try to keep busy with my new project, which is creating awareness jewelry (at cost and only for donations, not a profit) as well as doing chats every other week.... Sometimes it sounds like I can function "normally", but it is really my attempt at feeling normal and to help others who are suffering in silence, like I did for so many years, alone.

The mask that I commonly wear is one of the person I used to be, although clearly, there are cracks in this facade.  I often miss family gatherings, parties, and cannot always be online with those sufferers I so dearly want to help.  There are so many times that I want to exercise, be outside on a clear sunny day without shades, be with friends and family (which I have lost over the years due to my inability to function in a socially acceptable manner, exhibiting proper etiquette and staying for any real length of time), be a more active member of my community, drive a car (which I can no longer do because of all the medication that I am forced to take and all of the side effects), and so many other things, I can't mention here...

My mask is that of a younger me.  The me I was before chronic migraines started to destroy my life and left me disabled and ashamed, feeling like I was worthless and unproductive.  I remember that time when I was 19 and the whole world was in front of me.  I try to still feel free of the invisible chains of disability, but my mask it tarnished and often I am afraid.  Medications and treatments fail, I have not been able to work in over three years, and my social life is now hinged to the brief times I am able to type on the computer and social network or do my college graduate work (which I would be unable to do if it was not for disability accommodations). 

I wish my life hadn't gone down this dark path, but at the same time, it is making me a strong person.  I also know that the "Phantom of the Opera" theme for this first blog is meant as a euphemism, but if I had a current mask (other than my other one - an attempt at being youthful), it would be cracked, yes, but it would appear fierce, like I am; a ravaged wolf with fiery eyes, struggling to survive despite being starved emotionally from the loss of the me I used to be.

I am lucky that I have so many people on the internet to interact with.  They are often only acquaintances, but I know I am not alone.  So, I am not only helping them find their way out of the shadows. They are helping this "starving wolf" remain satiated with the hand that life has dealt me.  If I fight with other migraine sufferers, we are a pack that grows and becomes stronger.  We can do this together... despite the mask.  I know we can.  

With Love, Gueneviere (also known as Seizonsha)

June 2013, Migraine and Headache Awareness Month, is dedicated to Unmasking the Mystery of Chronic Headache Disorders. The 2013 Migraine and Headache Awareness Month Blog Challenge is a project of FightingHeadacheDisorders.com.